Those excellent ideas

[Tyranid Fodder]

I play a little dark angles along with my nids and as some may know DA can take a plasma cannon in their sqauds.

I had a plasma cannon that fired every turn of a game and it ALWAYS overheated but the lucky marine always lived to try again next time.

[Anonymous]

I was playing my IG army against a friends 1K Sons. Because they always move through difficult terrain, he has to roll the dice to see how far they move each turn. Varily, the Dice Gods were against him. He rolled 2s and 3s for four turns. Being the Chicken Gizzards they are, my IG didn't charge into combat or move up to start shooting, instead they napped and drank watered down amasec until turn six, when Vet. Stormtrooper Srgt. Nupins looked over his bunker and said, "Wake up lads, they've finally made it to the party!"

of course, I lost. Afterall, they're Chaos Space Marines for crying out loud!

[Guest]

I've played a few games using the Hollywood Space Marine Army List from a few White Dwarfs ago. It was great, they really acted like a Space Marine out of the fluff would. Anywho, that would make a great story line. Picture Kren and Frep drawing a bead on a Space Marine and unleashing everything on him. Then at the last moment the Space Marine pushes a couple of "Stunt Doubles" in front of him to take the hit. This repeats 5 - 6 times. At the same time a Hollywood Razorback manuveres to line up Jack, the Land Raider Crusader, and the Predator, to take them out with one shot.

[Anonymous]

NEver tell a 40K addict to bring everything he has and you will too.

Had a guy I met at one of the local game stores claim to have more miniatures than said game store. I have the same claim. So we talk and agree to bring everything we have for an all day battle, unlimited points.

First of all, it takes me three hours to just pack everything up the night before the game as I have 11 armies. Yes 11.

Space Marines (Codex), Orks, World Eaters, Iron Warriors, Emporers Children, Black Templars, Armored Company, Cadians, Blood Pact, Daemon Hunters, and Witch Hunters.

Granted the guy brings nearly an entire chapter of White Scars, which is impressive.

Well we start to set up, no limit on comp choices, just throw down and play. Takes over an hour to set up, and then another just to move and shoot my side of things. In the end we get two and a half turns before we need to start packing up, and it took us 6 hours to get to that point.

I did a point count and have well over 50,000 points, and no clue on the number of mini's. Well we both have more than the game store, but I think I win on who has more.

(may try to revise this when the vicodin wears off)

[Anonymous]

I've played a few games using the Hollywood Space Marine Army List from a few White Dwarfs ago. It was great, they really acted like a Space Marine out of the fluff would. Anywho, that would make a great story line. Picture Kren and Frep drawing a bead on a Space Marine and unleashing everything on him. Then at the last moment the Space Marine pushes a couple of "Stunt Doubles" in front of him to take the hit. This repeats 5 - 6 times. At the same time a Hollywood Razorback manuveres to line up Jack, the Land Raider Crusader, and the Predator, to take them out with one shot.

I've tried that list too, well worth a game or two, it was a blast. Had a LasCannon shot that went through a land raider, a bunker, two rhinos and still vapped three Space Marine! Granted, not many player want to be on the recieving end of that Army List anymore, but it was fun while it lasted!!!

[The Glen]

As this the appropriate place for this:

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[Gaghskull]

It was in this HUGE mega battle ( players over 22,000 points per side)

our side was imperials and friend (ork) while the other side was eldar and friends (tau, necrons, etc...) they had TWO titans. While the one on the other side was destroyed first turn (I love lascannons) but the one on my side failed to take any damage. It took us all the game to kill it. I delivered the final blow with a 3 inch meltagun shot to the leg (I also love melta weapons)

[Tyranid Fodder]

One time my carnifex did completley nothing to a terminator sqaud in close combat.

Needless to say those nasty power fists killed him off when the terminators struch back.

[Guest]

ohh..I can't wait to get my hands on a Terminator squad!
I found out that letting a veteran Scout sergeant near your tau lines a very bad idea. They guy teleported some terminators in and HtH combat ensued. Lets just say it was over before it began.

[BrianGeneral]

I caused 14 wounds on a Crisis by my Pulse Rifles in my last game,my oppponent saved 13.Another 10 wound on a 'O,he saved 8.

By in my turns my Railguns suddenly malfunctions!!2 Broad shot at a Broad,1 hit and another 1.Reroll,1.The one to hit,1.Hammerhead shoots,1.Another Broad shot,1,reroll,1.

That's godda** horrible dice and I won't trust my dice(and my Tau)ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So that's why I'll start a SM army.

[vompovompatti]

I made a drop pod attack with 2 tac squads, command squad and a dred. When the pods landed my men noticed that one tac squad needed a break and didn't even bother to come into the field of battle. Lost my command and other tac in the next opponents turn so I only had my dred left. My dred noticed a group of rangers and started to advance firing his storm bolter and assault cannon at the rangers most of the shots hit but lucky for the rangers they have their cloaks on and they are very hard to see.

Then I got a bit annoyed and removed my dred before it could be destroyed by the angry eldar.

[Anonymous]

I was playing a 1000 point 3 way FFA with my vanilla Eldar against my friends' Dark Angels, and Daemonhunters. I had just barely enough models to tally at exactly 1000 points, using every single unit i had, including my crappy jetbikes.

Anyway, all set up on an impossibly small map (3' x 3') and roll for scenario.
We roll recon. After killing 2 DH grey knights with Guardian fire, and chasing an entire IG squad belonging to the DH off the table, I charge my Guardians into the Angels' trenches.

My next turn, my Banshees arrive and charge right at the entrenched Angels.
Also, my striking scorpions arrive, and charge towards a crater for cover.
Needless to say, my banshees slaughtered the Angels in CC, then sweeping advanced along with the guardians onto the doorstep of the Angels snipers!
To make it even sweeter, the Daemonhunters player takes another IG squad throws them into the crater my scorpions are hiding behind.

in the Dark Angels turn, my friend is finally able to get his Dreadnought on the board, and places him where the Heavy flamer can, and does, kill all but 1 of my banshees, and half of my Guardians. With one shot, he kills about 200 points worth of eldar infantry.

The funny thing is, The Dark Angels player never got any more of his army on the table, and the DH player just kept losing in CC. My eldar wasted the stupid Mon'keigh!

[Anonymous]

Well heres a story on a similar line to the plasma'd Obliterator Strip.
I had a full (6man) Tau Stealth Suit squad pop into range of the rear armor of a razorback. 18 shots later at str 5. Not a hit, Not a glance, not a thing. This crap squad had actually successfully avoided all shooting at it right up to this point. All detection rolls had failed. Rare enough. In fact if i recall correctly that squad didnt actually make a single kill all game. I reckon the greater good forgot to pack ammo.

Frame 1: Kren and Frep toasting marshmallows or something.
Frame 2:BREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Kren and Frep dropping their guts and soiling themselves in general. having been surprised by a close range burst cannon fire.
Frame 3: 6 Stealth Warriors standing around looking embarrased and blaming an etheral for ammo rationing.

[ragingpotato]

"Damn it! whose job was it to bring the ammo?"
"Maybe we can just shout 'BANG' and they'll get heart attacks"
"What are we? Imperial Guardsmen?"

[Anonymous]

Right, my gaming society's annual huge battle took place today. Basically, the email informing us all of these things tends to include the words "a chance to use all those models you never use normally". Everyone involved totals up their points, and then we're split into two roughly equal sides which fight over a battlefield big enough that indirect fire on Basilisks occasionally can't get range on the furthest units.

Today, we had one team of: IG with Witch Hunter support (now referred to as Phall/Phallians as the player has decided that they are Triplex Phall's guardsmen); Black Templars; Space Wolves; IG who deployed in the middle as an objective (poor guys)(referred to as Penal Legion); Ultramarines; Ultramarines with Daemon Hunters; Marines of some kind (probably standard Codex, but not Ultras); some Tau; and my own Mechanised IG/Armoured Battlegroup/Super heavy force (now referred to as Deliani/Delian as I'm a shameless thief when it comes to naming anything and have placed them on a planet with said name. Anyone who gets the reference has my undying love.)

This fought with: Blood Angels turned traitor for points balance reasons ("Blood for the Blood G...sorry, Emperor"); Ork Speed Freeks; more Speed Freeks; Eldar; Eldar of a different Craftworld; Tyranids; and yet more Eldar.

From my experience last year, I took notes on the slightly silly things that happened. So, without further ado, a transcript of the notepad page titled "Stupid", with a few additions:
-First up, and early on, we have a frankly humiliating close combat: Penal Guard 1, Tyranid Lictor 0.
-The obligatory deep strike overkill: Tyranid warriors secide to deep strike behind the Baneblade. Which puts them 6 inches from it, about 12 from two Basilisks, 9 from a tactical squad, 13 from another tactical squad, 15 from a third, and 18 from a fourth. After not really doing much of anything to the Baneblade, they are humiliatingly shot up by Sentinels which haven't got anything else to do as they're the slowest things I'm fielding
-Actually using those Warriors on the super-heavy was frankly confusing - the slow Baneblade barely made it into range on the huge battlefield and there was too much terrain blocking line of sight for it to be truly scary. The nearby Basilisks, dropping shells far off onto other units, were much worse as a threat. The player claims he thought he would get glory from the Baneblade, but the Basilisks were doing much more damage by shelling bottlenecks in the map. And anything that I decided I didn't like.
-Absolute overkill: Russ Vanquisher (Strength 8 + 2D6 armour penetration if I so choose) versus...an Ork Trukk (armour 10).
-As it turns out, the Trukk hit by this and thoroughly annihilated (ordnance penetration 6) contained 533 points of Ork HQ units. This was two turns after an orbital Lance strike from the Phallians had done the same to the other Ork player, hitting 586 points of HQ.
-Throughout the battle, people were making adverts to stick on the Deliani Guardsman's banner which has the words "Your advert here" painted on it. "After the battle, why not drop into Kharn the Beertrayer's Ale House?" was my favourite, so it got to stay on. Yes, I've seen the "50 Ways to Annoy Wargamers" list. However, the sniggering suggested amusement rather than annoyance.
-Folowing their victory over the Lictor, the Penal Guard begin to do nicely in close combat for the entire game. Poor enemies. The survivors have the humiliation of being beaten up by Guardsmen...
-Orks fight an Immolator unsuccessfully. It drops out Sisters of Battle who proceed to beat up the Orks in a somewhat violent fashion. The Phall player later stated "Real men run away screaming like sissy girls. Sissy girls beat the Orks back with vigour."
-3 three traitor Blood Angel Scout Squads insist on attacking the (entire) Ultramarines force. As is expected, they lose. Except for the one surviving scout who keeps failing his Blood Rage tests and going nuts, fleeing the fight before charging back into it while screaming about blood.
-And in all of this, the Delian player was prancing about in a Soviet Commissar's hat. Admittedly, this did cause a mass outbreak of laughter after it was noticed that I put it on. It's been suggested that I find some way to model this onto my commander model and use it as a Trademark Item. If anyone wants to see pictures of me looking really silly, I think they'll be sent out shortly.

I'll probably remember more idiocy tomorrow.

EDIT the first: Or indeed, two minutes after the post:
-The joys of inaccuracy - due to the potential for long-range weaponry to annoy far off units, scatter rules were customised for this huge battlefield. Up to 4', the scatter dice are rolled as normal. Up to 8', another dice is added to the distance (ie, the basic scatter +1D6). Up to 12', a second D6 is added in (basic +2D6). Basically, every 4 feet of range adds in another D6. The Phallians and Delians were co-ordinating shelling, discussing potential targets befor most turns. For much of the game, this resulted in three Basilisks dropping explosives on a fjord which many enemies were charging across as it wasn't difficult terrain like the rest of the river, which meant many targets - even if it scattered far, it would hit *something*

However, there was one Eldar player who kept getting aimed at as he was using the crossing most, and it tended to scatter onto his other forces nearby. But one turn, I decided not to bomb him. There were other scary units I wanted dead. I informed him of this intention as he commented on being bombed heavily.

And then one of my shots intended for Orks scattered right onto his Eldar. I've never actually apologised for killing large parts of an enemy unit and meant it.

Edit 2: And more:
-I'll be the first to admit that my army wasn't exactly in the place where it would do most damage, but the sum total of my casulaties were 9 Stormtroopers in 5351 points of various armies. Aside from them, the only attack launched on me was one which slightly slowed down the Baneblade and prevented the huge battlecannon from firing for a turn. I just never got attacked and was left free to drop orndance on anything I could see. Or, in the case of the Basilisks, anything I felt needed blatting with explosives from afar, regardless of sight.