[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 112: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 112: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 112: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 112: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 112: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 112: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 112: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 112: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 112: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 112: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 112: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 112: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 112: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4684: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3830)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4686: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3830)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4687: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3830)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4688: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3830)
TSOALR - The Forum » View topic - 40K Fluff

40K Fluff

Moderators: Selezen, cog[nitive]

Postby Que Dan » Fri Jan 05, 2007 7:28 am

User avatar
Que Dan
Ultra Fan
 
Posts: 364
Joined: Sat Mar 25, 2006 6:40 pm
Location: The Eletin Craftworld

Postby ragingpotato » Fri Jan 05, 2007 6:05 pm

Nobody expects the Imperial Inquisition!

Accuracy is directly proportional to enemy numbers

Fuchismo, god of potatoes!
Spuds for the spud god!
User avatar
ragingpotato
Ultra Fan
 
Posts: 1139
Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2005 2:26 am
Location: southern california

Postby Que Dan » Sun Jan 07, 2007 5:15 pm

User avatar
Que Dan
Ultra Fan
 
Posts: 364
Joined: Sat Mar 25, 2006 6:40 pm
Location: The Eletin Craftworld

Postby Que Dan » Sun Jan 07, 2007 5:15 pm

User avatar
Que Dan
Ultra Fan
 
Posts: 364
Joined: Sat Mar 25, 2006 6:40 pm
Location: The Eletin Craftworld

Postby ragingpotato » Sun Jan 07, 2007 8:35 pm

Nobody expects the Imperial Inquisition!

Accuracy is directly proportional to enemy numbers

Fuchismo, god of potatoes!
Spuds for the spud god!
User avatar
ragingpotato
Ultra Fan
 
Posts: 1139
Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2005 2:26 am
Location: southern california

Postby Anonymous » Sun Jan 07, 2007 8:54 pm

Anonymous
 

Postby ragingpotato » Mon Jan 08, 2007 9:31 pm

And Part 3.

A week after initially setting out from Sector 231, Red Shirt Squad Beaver Alpha finally returned to their cozy little bunker. Unfortunately, it was no longer cozy, in the sense of actually existing. In their abscence the bunker had been caved in by an artillery shell and replaced with a barracks. Then the barracks had been hit with an artillery shell. Now there was a taco stand.
"Sarge! Our home! Its gone!" Henderson stuttered in disbelief. Jenkins fell to his knees and shouted into the sky:
"MY CDS!"
Sarge approached the taco stand, had a discussion with the Red Shirt manning it, then returned to the squad.
"Well boys, the bad news is, the bunkers gone, along with our possessions that were nside it. The good news is we got a new mission! We are to link up with the 101st Raedan Airborne to launch a full frontal assault on the chaos fortress!"
"You mean the shoe store?"
"Yes. The shoe store. We might want to get us some tacos before our mission."
"Sir, with all due respect, I think command wants to kill us."
"Nonsense Harrison!"
"Henderson."
"Nonsense whatever your name is, the 101st are a perfectly able regiment."
"Sarge, first of all, my name is John Henderson, I've known you for 7 months. Second of all, the "Ralph Brigade" is the most incompetent bunch of lunatics to come off of Raed IX, and that's saying something."
Off to the side, Macgregor and Jenkins were trying to see who could stare at the sun the longest.
"I mean, seriously. We suck."
"Hey, Red Shirts, while you ladies were talking we came up with a plan" "Now why use 'we', we are technically one person" "Well I just want them to recognise our unique situation" "Oh shut it! You always do this, always putting emphasis on your problems so people will take pity on you." "Me! What about you, trying to be nice to everyone just so you can use them later!" "Fethhead!"
"Groxbrain!"
"Private Ranulf. You say you had a plan?"

The 101st Raedan Airborne, The Ralph Brigade. While every regiment from Raed takes extremely heavy casualties, none can compare to the sheer lucklessness of the Ralph Brigade. In every engagement since its founding it has been wiped out to a man. Oddly enough, every time it is reformed it is made up almost exclusively of men named Ralph. This is due primarily to the large farming community it recruits from, where that is pretty much the only name people give their children. In any case, the regiment is popular among Raedan Generals because of the absolute guarantee of its destruction. Often the enemy leaves perfectly good cover or fortified positions just for the chance to wipe this regiment off the face of the planet. Another invariable factor is the utter obliviousness of the soldiers of their fate. No one really bothers telling them anything and their are no survivors to pass on the tale.
Leading these fine gentlemen will be the newly upgraded (i.e., they still have five guys left) command squad, Beaver Alpha.
Oh, this will be fun.

EDIT: In case your wondering, yes, sarge got the mission, and a promotion to lieutenant, from the guy at the taco stand. His name is Fausto. He's a general.
Nobody expects the Imperial Inquisition!

Accuracy is directly proportional to enemy numbers

Fuchismo, god of potatoes!
Spuds for the spud god!
User avatar
ragingpotato
Ultra Fan
 
Posts: 1139
Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2005 2:26 am
Location: southern california

Postby ragingpotato » Tue Jan 09, 2007 9:41 pm

And Now the thrilling conclusion! Unless it turns out to be too long.
In which case, and now for the thrilling third part.

"So the plan is to charge them head on?"
"Yes"
"Across the mine field?"
"Yes."
"under cover of... daylight?"
"Yes. The enemy will be taken completely off guard."
Newly Promoted Lieutenant, Chuck Sarge stood at the summit of the small hill overlooking the 101st Raedad Airborne. Behind him was the chaos occupied shoe store that served as their base and the vast conspicuos minefield that stretched in front of it.
"Ahh, reminds me of home." said Private Ranulf as he sat on a log, duct taping three lasguns together.
'Lance Corporal' Henderson stared at the fortress again then made off into the camp to go steal some more armor.
Down Below, Macgregor, Jenkins, and 3 troopers known only as 'Ralph Ralphsson' played cards while awaiting the command to charge.
"Ok Ralph, you deal next." All three reached for the deck. Jenkins held out the deck, then, to make things easier, decided to just deal again. Macgregor thought for a moment then said,
"I've got it, You'll be Frosty, You'll be Jingles, and You'll be Banjo."
"Jenkins! Macgregor! get up here, were about to start the attack!" Sarge shouted down at them.
"Wait Sarge, Frosty, Jingles, and Banjo's squad lost seven men to a large, angry, squirrel, can they join our squad."
"No Macgregor, we have a top secret mission."
"Please Sarge! I promise to feed them, and take care of them!"
"Remember what happened when I let that Death Korpsman into the squad?"
"I promised not to juggle grenades anymore!"
"Fine Macgregor. Private Ralphsson, Private Ralphsson, and Private Ralphsson, get up here!"
A Ralph handed Henderson a large metal device covered in antenna.
"What's this?"
"You get to be the medic"
"But I have no medical training!"
"Medical what?"
Jenkins was given the master vox while Macgregor held the standard. The three Ralphs and Private Ranulf were each given a lasgun with several clips of ammo. Then Sarge signalled the attack.
As one, the Red Shirts charged across the open area directly toward the most fortified position of the chaos fortress. As the front line reached the minefield the chaos gunners finally noticed them. It took a few moments to register, as it appeared to be the single dumbest attack the heretics had ever seen.
Meanwhile, Lieutenant Sarge led his squad to the often overlooked back entrance to the shoe store. Standing in front of a door at the back of the building were two chaos soldiers, one with feet instead of hands, and the other with his face where his groin should be.
"Damn! They posted guards! My plan is ruined!" Sarge cursed. Henderson stared in disbelief at the lieutenant.
"Of course they posted guards! Who do you think they are? Us?"
Jenkins was tired of this constant bickering so he heroically charged the door.
He managed to land a kick to the face on one of the guards, but it did not do as much damage as he expected and was soon wrestled to the ground.
"They've taken Jenkins!" Macgregor cried
"Well there's nothing more we can do. Vox command and tell them the mission has been aborted."
"Uh Sarge, Jenkins had the vox."
Sarge paused.
"So, who's up for a rescue mission?"
Nobody expects the Imperial Inquisition!

Accuracy is directly proportional to enemy numbers

Fuchismo, god of potatoes!
Spuds for the spud god!
User avatar
ragingpotato
Ultra Fan
 
Posts: 1139
Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2005 2:26 am
Location: southern california

Postby ragingpotato » Fri Jan 12, 2007 9:29 pm

Nobody expects the Imperial Inquisition!

Accuracy is directly proportional to enemy numbers

Fuchismo, god of potatoes!
Spuds for the spud god!
User avatar
ragingpotato
Ultra Fan
 
Posts: 1139
Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2005 2:26 am
Location: southern california

Postby Anonymous » Fri Jan 12, 2007 10:35 pm

Anonymous
 

Postby ragingpotato » Sat Jan 13, 2007 8:39 pm

Nobody expects the Imperial Inquisition!

Accuracy is directly proportional to enemy numbers

Fuchismo, god of potatoes!
Spuds for the spud god!
User avatar
ragingpotato
Ultra Fan
 
Posts: 1139
Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2005 2:26 am
Location: southern california

Postby Que Dan » Mon Jan 15, 2007 4:07 am

User avatar
Que Dan
Ultra Fan
 
Posts: 364
Joined: Sat Mar 25, 2006 6:40 pm
Location: The Eletin Craftworld

Postby sticky_like_cheese » Mon Jan 15, 2007 6:22 pm

sticky_like_cheese
Eagle-eyed comic reader
 
Posts: 351
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2006 5:08 pm
Location: United Kingdom, England, Milton Keynes

Postby ragingpotato » Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:41 pm

Nobody expects the Imperial Inquisition!

Accuracy is directly proportional to enemy numbers

Fuchismo, god of potatoes!
Spuds for the spud god!
User avatar
ragingpotato
Ultra Fan
 
Posts: 1139
Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2005 2:26 am
Location: southern california

Postby Ghost Fist » Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:39 pm

You may not see us
But we'll be there
You may not feel us
But you will care

Your shots will not hit us
We are shapes in the mists
Blink and you'll miss us
For we are the Ghost Fists!
User avatar
Ghost Fist
Ultra Fan
 
Posts: 456
Joined: Tue Aug 15, 2006 1:45 am
Location: San Jose, CA (though I'm British....)

PreviousNext

Return to 40K Gaming

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron